Monday, June 4, 2012

Sometimes the best laid plans...

I had big plans going into pregnancy. It was my goal to start out pregnancy as fit as possible. My ideal body weight. My maximum level of fitness. My fitness habits and routine well ingrained. I thought this was going to be realized when within weeks of finishing my half Ironman in 2011, tada! Josh and I were pregnant. We had tried for one cycle and were surprised to learn that one cycle was all we needed. Being in our early 30's and never having attempted to get pregnant before we were prepared for months of "practice" before we expected baby making success. We celebrated the pregnancy right away and shared the news with our closest friends and family. I was ecstatic to enter into pregnancy with my "ideals" realized and thrilled to know that fertility was not going to be a problem for Josh and I. Sadly this first pregnancy wasn't meant to be. I excitedly kept up my jogging and cycling through 10 1/2 weeks of pregnancy. Even keeping focused on my pre Ironman nutrition routine for the most part with a few indulgences of uber yummy comfort food like mac and cheese and cheese burgers from my favorite local diner. At some point my body caught up with the fact that although I was 10 1/2 weeks pregnant, my little embryo had failed to develop beyond about the 6 week point and my body began the process of expelling the pregnancy. Sometimes the best laid plans are just not meant to be. The miscarriage was no picnic and the weeks that followed were emotionally challenging to say the least. I had my friends and family for support and with their help struggled through the following weeks. I gave myself permission to grieve, indulged my emotional eating and frivolous cravings, and gave myself a break from my focus on fitness. I'm pretty sure I thought the cure for what ailed me would be found in a boston cream filled donut. It wasn't all gluttony and bad choices. I finished my first 1/2 marathon 8 weeks after the miscarriage and finished in just over 2 hours. A proud moment but bitter sweet because I'd anticipated running the race at 18 weeks pregnant... The holidays were around the corner and my cycle had returned to normal. Josh and I were given the thumbs up to try again whenever we were ready. And blessedly, here were are pregnant again and well beyond the point of needing to be fearful of a miscarriage. This pregnancy started out very differently. Instead of starting out at my "ideals", I had a few extra pounds and I'd let some of my fitness slide but I learned that there are more important things and to quote my midwives "Babies like a little extra fat". Not sure if that's been proven but I'm prepared to embrace it!

2 comments:

  1. I don't believe the word baby and planning ever go together! hahaha

    I think you look great and baby M is happy with all your biking/swimming/running and your beautiful body! Just cause you are not in half ironman shape doesn't mean you aren't in shape lady! You are still out there doing what you can and there is a lot to be said for that :)

    I am so excited for you guys! xoxo

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    1. Thanks Mandi. You've been such great support for me through this! Hopefully one day I can return the favor!

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